Reno and Rude's Trip to the Seaside
by xxXRUDEXxx
Summary: Reno and Rude go to the seaside ... and do stuff to each other, members of the general public and any wildlife they come across mostly seagulls, some yaoi references: not Reno and Rude.
1. Doughnuts

**Reno and Rude's Trip to the Seaside - Chapter 1 : Doughnuts**

"Woo! Rain, yeah!" screamed Reno, waving his arms in the air.  
"C'mon," said Rude with a seriousness about him. They headed over to a shelter overlooking the seafront to sit out of the rain.  
Several tired minutes passed when the rain finally started to clear.  
"Hi Rude, how you doing?" asked Reno. Rude simply turned to stare at him. "What you thinking 'bout buddy?" questioned Reno again.

Rude didn't even dignify him with a glance this time and kept on looking forward, fixed on the seafront. Reno slowly moved his right hand down to his pocket in between him and Rude and slowly pulled out a bag of doughnuts. He took a doughnut from the bag and held it right under Rude's nose, making Rude, for the second time, give him an evil glare. Once again Reno took the donut and pushed and pulled it backwards and forwards in front of Rude's face asking, " Rudie wanna doughnut? You wanna doughnut buddy? Huh, Rudie doughnut, huh?"

He saw a hand coming towards him. "What the …? " he stopped noticing there were children around him laughing he asks again , "So, you wanna doughnut ?"

Looking at his reflection in the shelter realizing his face was covered in strawberry jam he ran his finger across his cheek, ran onto the beach and screamed, " I'm so darn tasty ! Woo, yeah! C'mon, Rude buddy, lets go for a swim! Woo I'm so sexy! Yeah, that's it the seas over here buddy!" Waiting on the beach he sees Rude striding towards him with determination, gradually lifting his right fist. "Yeah that's it Rude, lighten up," were his last words, as he took a heavy blow to his head.

Opening his eyes Reno surprisingly realized something was wrong. He felt himself cold and wet and surrounded by darkness.

"Hey! Let me out dude, Rudie!!!?" Reno screamed, as loudly as his tired out lungs would allow him to.

Unexpectedly, Reno found himself being blinded by sunlight as a bucket was lifted from his head to reveal Rude sitting beside him with a slight grin, casually enjoying an ice cream to himself.  
They both soon noticed two blondes strolling besides them but they weren't too interested in Reno, buried in the sand, and looked to Rude. As usual, Reno found his mouth working but his brain slightly delayed.

"Caw, look at the tits on her, I'd have her in a seckie. Dig me out Rude, quick. I'm dyin' in here, little Reno needs air!"  
Rude smiled at him as he dropped the ice cream next to Reno and leaves the bucket so that Reno could watch him walk away. For one last time forgetting where he was, Reno started, "Screw it, who needs you guys anyway, I still have my right hand?" He soon lowered his voice as he was approached by a small boy. He kneeled down and stole the only thing that Reno had left (apart from his right hand); the ice-cream. As he stopped caring from embarrassment with the evening's final breath he screamed, "Well fuck you then." He suddenly realized as he started to think (goodness help us), that he would have to start being a lot nicer to people if he wanted to survive the night.


	2. Reno's Little Problem

Chapter 2 - Reno's little problem

As Rude was relaxing as he watched the TV he heard the door creek open and he turned around to see Reno standing in the hallway dripping wet and covered in sand. For a minute he almost felt some concern for poor Reno but he was too interested in the film to be concerned about Reno looking depressed. Reno stares at him like a small child would and then heads for the bathroom.

A few minutes later Reno ,after having finally showered, entered the living room and took a seat next to Rude. As he started to relax and put his feet up Rude asked, "How the fuck did you get out of that hole?"

"Seagulls ," said Reno.

"Seagulls?" said Rude whilst thinking ' oh no he's completely off his head,' " Seriously, seagulls?"

" Yeah seagulls," said Reno.

" How many seagulls ,"questioned Rude becoming curious .

" An average flock," claimed Reno.

Rude raised his voice to say, " you're telling me that a flock of seagulls, of average size dug you out of a human sized hole in the middle of the beach lifted you out, hoisted and flew you to safety and dropped you on the pier for you to walk back here by yourself in order to arrive just in time for tea?"

Reno looked thoughtful for a moment then finally voiced, " big bloke with a spade said he'd dig me out."

"Oh the kindness of strangers , all out of the goodness of his heart?" he asked, " was he a bit …. Funny ?"

Reno looked worried, " he said he'd dig me out If I did something with him like ….," he started to mumble.

There was no need for Rude to ask any more questions , he knew damn well what Reno was talking about by the tone of his voice , he actually started to feel bad, " Oh no Reno you didn't did you ? I'm sorry I really am I had no idea it would go so far."

Reno's eyes were glazed with tear drops . Rude had never seen him like that before. Then as usual Reno broke the silence, " Rude, buddy, I have a little problem. Do you have any Vaseline ?"

Rude questioned him, "What for your …?"

"Dude!" he quickly interrupted.

"Yes," answered Rude, " if I get it you don't ask why I have it okay?"

"Okay," agreed Reno turning his head slightly away from Rude as he broke a smile. A few minutes later Rude returned to the living room carrying a tub of Vaseline in his left hand then passed it to Reno.

" Now will you do me another favor ?" Reno asked Rude looking at him with an evil grin and puppy dog eyes.

" No way," insisted Rude, " I'm sorry about your problem mate but I'm not doing that."

"Fine, I'll do it myself," said Reno as he let his trousers drop whilst opening the tub of Vaseline and scooping out a hefty amount onto two of his right hand fingers. He brought his hands slowly towards his face but then stopped and started to stare fixated on Rude. All of a sudden he started running toward him with a crazed look in his eyes.

He started screaming, "Bury me in a hole will you ? Leave me to die! I'm going to get you back now you bastard !" Reno somehow managed to throw unsuspecting Rude to the ground.

"Reno please stop," screamed Rude, "What will the neighbors think?"

"I don't care," he replied, "I'm Reno" Then he screamed at the top of his voice knowing that the neighbors would hear him, " Rude no I don't want to have sex with you!" He took his fingers and motioned to put the Vaseline straight into Rude's face.

"Ooh yummy," he screamed.

" No Reno , please," shouted Rude.

"Oh yes, Yes, YES!" replied Reno.

Reno stopped and appeared to faint leaving Rude underneath him frightened to move. Rude leaned in and whispered in his ear, "Reno, hello?"

All of a sudden he felt his heart skip a beat as Reno jumped up screaming. He ran off then started jumping up and down, pointing and laughing at Rude. "Ha ha, Reno got Rude! Woo hoo!" he screamed.

Rude slowly sat up shocked and asked " You thought of all that yourself?"

"I had a lot of time," Reno replied.

"Yeah," said Rude.

* * *

After finishing their dinner as they were watching TV Rude reluctantly turned to Reno and asked, "Reno?"

"Yes?" said Reno.

"How did you get out of that hole?" finished Rude.

Reno just looked with mystery, tapped his nose and started laughing to himself.


	3. The Fair

Chapter 3 : The Fair

"Two tokens please,"said the man sitting in the kiosk,looking down at Rude. He handed over the tokens and headed onto the ride platform as Reno followed.

"Each,"said the man,looking at Reno as if to say:'eh eh what have we got here then?'

Reno reached for his pocket and pulled out,amongst other things,two tokens and slammed them down on the kiosk counter. He followed and took a seat next to Rude on the train.

"Hehe,"said Reno, "get ready Rude,are you scared?"

"Yes Reno I am,"said Rude,"are you kiddin,"he shouted,"don't be stupid,this ride is for little kids,or couples."

"Sorry,"said Reno.

After the last few passengers joined the train,it started to move slowly into a darkened tunnel.

"Woo,scary,"said Reno making ghost gestures at Rude.

"Guys,"said the conductor looking at a Reno and Rude shaped huddle as he went to clear the passengers.

"Reno get off me,"said Rude lifting Reno's head off his own shoulders.He lifted his head to reveal an ill looking Reno with a teary streaked face,he slowly got up and departed from the ride.

"Rudie,"he said.

"What?"sighed Rude.

He replied,"I don't like the ghost train it's scary."

"Huh,"laughed Rude,"so what do you wanna do next then?"

Reno looked blank and was staring into space then all of a sudden "Rude!"he screamed,"I know what I wanna do now." He raised his arm and with a single finger pointed to the ride directly opposite them.

"No Reno,"said Rude shaking his head,"I won't fit in some of them things,I'm a fully grown man."

"C'mon Rude just find your inner child like me,"Reno ran towards the followed Reno who had already paid for himself and was waiting on the steps for Rude.

He approached the woman behind the counter who asked an anxious looking Rude,"You want to ride the funhouse son?"

"Yes,"sighed Rude. He handed over the tokens and went to join Reno."Right,"he said to himself as he stomped up the steps after Reno,avoiding the turntable and rollers along the floor."Jeeze,what the fuck?"shouted Rude as he felt a strong gust of wind shooting up his trouser leg. He looked up to see a smirking Reno laughing at him.

"I love the funhouse,"said reno,"I bet it's a long time since you've had anything shoot up in there that fast."

"Piss off!"replied Rude as he caught up with Reno who was starting to climb the moving stairs. As they climbed Rude noticed that reno,who was above him,was giggling. A few seconds later he discover why.

"Ah Reno that's nasty man,"Rude said trying to catch his breath and diverting his head sideways, "go up,go up." Reno continued to laugh. He stood still and let his trousers drop,he stepped out of them so that they were now on Rude's head. Rude grabbed the trousers and threw them off of the funhouse and onto the muddy ground.

"You didn't think that one through did you,tosser,"shouted Rude. Reno was now on the second level of the funhouse,without any trousers,waiting for Rude. "I hate these things,"said Rude looking at the giant rotating tube that they had to go through to get out of the funhouse.

"Huh?"said Reno who had just finished tying his jacket around his waist to hide his legs. "C'mon stop being such a girl,"he said to Rude as he strided towards the tube to be cool. All of a sudden he tripped and his jacket got stuck in between the tube and the floor. Reno jumped up and his jacket was pulled off. It was now rotating around with the tube but completely stuck into the joint.

The two of them slowly made it through the tube and then battled their way through the nets and punchbags,up the steps and onto the final floor.

Reno felt someone tap him on the shoulder and realised it was Rude as he said,"Reno." He turned around as he felt Rude ripping the shirt off his back. "Lets get outta here,"said Rude as he slowly made his way over to the ball pit heading for the slide.

"Wee,"screamed Reno as he launched himself into the pit."Ooh slide,"he screamed,"twisty slide."He ran over to the slide.

"I'll go first,"said Rude as he went feet first into the slide.

When he reached the bottom he noticed a line of buckets againts the wall that were filled with rain water.

"Is it okay for me to come down?"screamed Reno from the top of the slide.

"Yeah,"replied Rude as he picked up one of the buckets.

"Woo,"Reno screamed as he went down the slide."Oh fuck that's cold,"he was soaked in freezing rain water. He was shivering without any clothes and he said to Rude,"I wanna go home now please."

"Sure let me just grab some food first,ok?"said Rude.

"Ok,"said Reno as he stood up and started walking,water dripping from his hair. He recieved a lot of strange looks and pointing especially from mothers and their children,but Reno was used to that.


	4. About The Town

Chapter 4:About the town

"Rude where are you going?" asked Reno noticing his friend was headed out the door of their caravan.

"For a walk," replied Rude plainly.

"Oh ok, I'll come too then," said Reno as he turned off the TV and headed out of the door behind Rude. "So where are we walking to buddy?" asked Reno as he shut the veranda gate, "wait up pal!"

"There's nowhere in particular, you just walk around," said Rude who was starting to seem annoyed with Reno already.

"Oh, groovy," said Reno in a ridiculous and slightly feminine tone. He started skipping to catch up with Rude who was heading out of their caravan site into the town. Even at night the town was filled with holiday makers in short skirts,flipflops and shorts so it wasn't surprising if heads turned as Reno and Rude passed by.

As they got further into the town there were fewer and fewer people and it grew darker. "Oh Jeeze!" shouted Rude as he run across the road to escape the ferocious and hideous creature that brushed against his trouser leg.

"Ooh look, a kitty!" screeched Reno," aww, he's purring, cute." He picked up the cat and walked towards Rude.

"Reno put it down, please," said Rude taking a few steps backwards.

"But it's cute, lookit Rude!" said Reno taking steps forward as Rude took them back. "Are you scared of kitties?" he said as he put the cat back onto the floor," are you?"

"No I'm not scared, don't be stupid," shouted Rude at Reno.

"No need to be like that," said Reno lowering his head and sounding sorry for himself.

"I'm sorry," said Rude desperately, he didn't want to cause Reno to run off, not after previous occasions.

"It's okay," said Reno raising his head. He raised his arm and pointed just over Rude's left shoulder. He slowly whispered," Rude don't look, oh no, RUN !!!"

"Why!" screamed Rude as he chased Reno down the street. He didn't know why he was running but he was still scared," Reno why are we running, what was it?"

"Nothing!," screamed Reno as he slowed down and started to laugh." Oh crap," he said as Rude caught up with him.

"Reno," said Rude in a stern voice," look at me," Reno raised his head," that was extremely childish you know, I want you to apologize to me now."

"Okay, but first, Rude look," shouted Reno in attempt to distract his friend.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" he asked Reno," don't answer that."

Reno laughed as he reached out and grabbed Rude's sunglasses and threw them into the street . As Rude went for his glasses Reno made a run for it.

"Goddamit Reno!" shouted Reno as he picked up his scratched glasses from the road. He put them back on his head and turned around to find that he was alone without Reno,(which could have been good and bad.) Although he wouldn't like to admit it Rude did get a little scared sometimes, he just didn't show it.

"Go away! go on,shoo!" said Rude to the small tabby cat that seemed to follow him as he tried to find Reno. He tried to ignore the kitten and focus on finding Reno but that wasn't easy when he had no idea where he was going.

Rude was in new territory and didn't like the fact that he was becoming more and more nervous by the second. That was probably not very good for a Turk, but Rude didn't show it when the others were around. He kept his cool for them. Rude knew that he was the most intimidating looking Turk, so he had no choice but to play the part. Maybe he was a big softie once you got to know him. You'd just have to brake him on the outside first to see.

Keeping his cool around the others had become more easy for Rude over the time heed been with the Turks but it was easier when he was with Reno. Reno didn't care about anything. He was completely cautionless, a stick a knife in a toaster person. At first when they were out together Reno made him more scared but as time went on,if Rude was asked, he'd say he'd rather Reno be there than him be alone.

Rude was thinking about all this as he ventured into the dark to find Reno and try to ignore the kitten. All of a sudden Rude heard several loud bangs and crashes followed by Reno's unmistakable groaning and giggling. After stopping himself from running away from the noise, he slowed down and headed back to help his friend, trying not to laugh.

"Reno, how?" he said looking at his friend who was lying face down on top of several mishaped dustbins.

"Kittys' fault,"groaned Reno.

"What?"said Rude raising his voice.

"Excuse me,"said a voice from an upstairs window,"some people are trying to sleep!"

"Well why don't you shut up then,bike it you old bag," shouted Reno. "Or maybe you should come down here with us,it's good here innit Rude!"

"Great now get up and tell me what happened,"said Rude .

"Well,"said Reno as he attempted to stand making more noise. After the third try he managed to steady himself. "I ran off and I was wandering round a bit when I saw the kitty so I followed it but it went on a fence so I climbed it but not being a cat I fell off and landed on the bins."

"The cat was following me, you saw me!"said Rude shouting at little Reno."I was looking for you."

"He saw you, we can all hear you,"said the woman who was trying to sleep.

"Shut up!" shouted Rude.

"Nice Rude gettin' angry!" said Reno,"like it."

"Go, now," Rude shouted,"were going back now."

"Wait let me get Tiberius," wailed Reno.

"The what?" said Rude holding his temper.

"Hehe well Tiberius is what I named the cat," said Reno.

"Why?" said Rude.

"Well I thought we could take him to Rufus and see if he would let him in the Turks," said Reno getting excited.

"No,"said Rude who was really losing his patience.

"Why not?" said Reno,"Avalanhce have a dog."

"It's not the same," said Rude starting to walk toward Reno who was clearly ignoring him.

"I can see it now,"he said,"Reno,Rude,Elena,Tiberius and the other one. Yeah that'd be great. We could put a bell on him and put a kitty door in the meeting room. He might be promoted and get his own office. His secret weapon...katnip! BEWARE TIBERIUS! Haha!"

"Reno I'm sorry," interrupted Rude.

"What for?" puzzled Reno.

"This!"Rude started chasing Reno down the street. He hadn't planned on doing anything but Reno didn't know that!

Reno ran and screamed,"I wanted to Turk up the kitty!"


	5. The Park

Chapter 5 : The Park

"So Rudie poos, we've only got three whole days left till we have to go back to work, what do you wanna do today?" asked Reno.

"I don't know, why don't you decide for a change?" answered Rude not really caring where they went or what they did.

"Ok," shouted Reno who had never been asked to make such a serious descision before. "Hmm... where shall we go.."

Rude just looked at him extremely unpatient. "It really doesn't matter Reno, it's not life or death," he said.

"I know but it feels that way, it's too hard."

"Just pick anywhere! " shouted Rude at Reno , who then realised what he had just done. Reno looked like a child that had just had candy stolen from it, he felt so sorry for himself. "Reno I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you."

"So you're not angry at ickle Reno Rude?"

"No, I'm not,I'm sorry," said Rude as he prayed that Reno would come out of his mood.

"Oh goodie, coz guess what?" said Reno as he waited for a reply from Rude that didn't come. "I've just thought of somewhere we can go today." "Do you wanna try and guess?" Once again Rude gave no reply and simply shook his head,which reflected light patterns on the ceiling. "We're gonna go to the park!" Rude didn't want to upset or offend Reno again, which was very easy, so he just nodded and signalled for Reno to exit the caravan.

When the two arrived at the park they saw that it was strangely full of children of mixed ages and Rude began to have second thoughts. Reno noticed his friends look of concern so asked him,"Come on Rude, it'll be fun."

"Won't we look a bit strange," said Rude looking over the park gates at the children.

"No Rude, don't be silly, people love us, we're the kinda guys that fit into any social group," said Reno leaving Rude alone outside of the gates. 'Oh please,' thought Rude to himself as he caught up with Reno.

"I wanna go on the giant swing,"said Reno to Rude,"but the gay little kids are on it, c'mon Rude let's go stirr it up !" "We can just go over there and nicely suggest to them that they get the fuck off !"shouted Reno as he ran over to the kids that were on the swing.

Rude went over there and very reluctantly stood next to Reno, waiting for him to say or do something very stupid.

"Oi hurry up," Reno shouted at the group on the swing.

"Piss off!" one of the older lads replied as he looked Reno up and down and smirked.

"Right that does it," Reno pulled out his EMR and not looking at the setting swung for the boy who at this point had just got off to help push the swing.

"Fuck!" the lad screamed as him and his other mates ran away from Reno and out of the park. Reno had missed the boy and smacked his EMR into the frame of the swing.

"You idiot!" shouted Rude in Reno's face.

"No Rude i didn't dent the EMR, it's all good."

"I meant the kids," shouted Rude realising that there was noone else left in the park.

"It's okay, they must've only got a little shock each coz they managed to get off and run away," said Reno running toward the swing. "Ow," he said as he pulled his hand back off the swing frame that he himself had just electrified, "c'mon Rude it'll be ok now."

Rude slowly went over to the swing and instead of mounting it he decided it would be more fun to push, non stop for no less than an hour, not letting Reno get off.

"Ready?" he asked.


	6. Tackling Childhood Obesity

Tackling childhood obesity

"Reno," said Rude as he nodded at his friend who was already up and dressed.

"Hey rur rurdy rur rurdy rur Rude," said Reno with a smile as he saw the look of confusion on Rude's face.

"What?," said Rude as he put on his jacket.

"How's about we go out for lunch seeing as how it's our last whole day here?" he answered.

Rude had to think a minute before answering Reno's question. He cast his mind back to other public incidents in cafes, restaurants or even out on the street, all because of Reno. Then he thought of how hungry he was and remembered the fact that they were out of food.

"Only if you promise to be on your best behaviour,"said Rude who knew he was going to say yes anyway.

"Ok," laughed Reno nodding. There was no way Rude believed that Reno could behave himself but he secretly liked it when he went hyper, he thought that Reno in a restaurant could make the last day quite fun. They both left the caravan and walked into town to find the nearest restaurant.

"There," said Reno shouting and skipping.

"Ok," said Rude nodding as he really didn't care where they went.

"Table for two?" said the waitor politely.

Rude nodded and smiled as he led them to their table.

"Nah table for 6, coz i'm so darn fat!," shouted Reno, "Ow Rude!" he said after being hit by his bald friend. Reno then noticed that a rather well rounded young boy was looking at him with a sadness about his face. "Oops," he said laughing slightly.

"Ow, crap!" he said as he felt a body against him and heard several loud crashing noises. He turned around to see two waitors clearing the mess from the floor; several shocked customers and Rude who was obviously giving him a weird look, even though Reno couldn't see his eyes through his glasses.

"Reno," he said in an extremely low tone.

"Yes friend," Reno said sounding like a little girl.

"Sit down," said Rude who was breathing heavily.

"Sorry what was that?" he replied finding himself funny.

"Sit down!," Rude shouted followed by Reno taking a seat beside his friend.

"Excuse me," a woman said, "we would like to eat our lunch in peace if you don't mind."

"Nah, you don't need any of that," said Reno ," do you know how many calories it's got and look at your kid!"

"Reno," said Rude nudging him, urging him to stop.

"Man he's huge, eh fatty! aah look they're like tits aint they?," Reno screamed as he pointed.

Reno made a squeaking noise as Rude hit him hard in the shoulder, and he shut up.

"I don't like fat kids Rude, you never know when they'll decide to chow down on a couple of people," he said making sure he was heard.

After their food arrived, Reno had calmed down a bit and was humming to himself in between swallowing.

"Reno, do you mind if I ask you to do me a favour?" said Rude.

"Sure, what?" said Reno noticing his reflection in Rude's head and smiling.

"Go sit on the other side of the table," he said.

"Why, don't you like me Rude?" he said adjusting his hair according to his new mirror.

"No, it's just that were sitting on the same side."

"So," said Reno quite puzzled.

"People might think that we're a bit, funny."

"No, Rude, you're a manly man, there's no way people would think that," he said putting his arm around Rude's shoulder.

"Reno, I am but you," he said realising the need to stop.

"Yes? I'm.." Reno said looking at Rude. Rude moved his glasses so that Reno could see the look in his eyes. "Ok, i'll go sit on the other side," he said getting up and taking his plate.

"Psst, Rude," said Reno giggling.

"What now?," said Rude like he really cared.

"Fatty's got his ice cream!" he screamed jumping up and pointing. Rude didn't look impressed but he knew he was holding back the laughter really. His look, as usual said it all Reno took a moment to think. "Hey Rude, do you think i'd better go apologise to him?" he said sounding sincere, "get the bill."

Rude payed for the food and Reno headed over to the table with the boy and his mother sitting around it.

"Hey listen, i'm sorry kid about all that before I know how you must feel," Reno explained.

"No you don't," said the kid, sounding upset.

"I do, you see I used to be otrese like you!" shouted Reno waving his arms about, "what's your name kid?"

"It's Daniel," said the boy cheering up a little.

"How big are you?" Reno asked trying not to laugh.

"I'm 8," said Daniel.

"What!, there's no way you're less than 20 stone kid!" laugher Reno.

"I thought you said you used to be like me, why are you making fun of me?" shouted the boy.

"I was never as fat as you! you're not just obese, you're nonabese!! that means a 9 times, 20 stone pork chop munching fat ass!" said Reno who could hardly breathe for laughter.

"Come on Rude," he said as he left the restaurant checking that his friend followed,"I think our work here is done."


	7. Work As Usual

Work as Usual

"Are ya ready Rude?" said Reno, with their bags in his hands. "Rude?" he said with no reply, "helllooo? wooooo!" Reno shouted jumping up and down trying to get attention.

"Shut up and look," said Rude sounding more angry than he should normally have been. He gave his friend's brain a couple of minutes to engage and moments later the message finally came across and Reno realised the problem.

"Rude! where the fuck is the car?" screamed Reno.

"You mean the Lambourghini, our £60,000 company car," said Rude staying fixed on the empty space.

"Oh man, there's only one thing that could make this worse," said Reno who couldn't think of anything else to add.

"What?," said Rude.

"I could have all my sexy red hair stolen," he continued turning around to check that he was safe, "wow Rude can you imagine being bald?" Reno saw the anger on his friend's face and didn't want to dig any deeper. He decided to shut up and this lasted a record of around 4.36 seconds. "What we gonna do about this car then?" he asked hesitantly.

Rude was about to seriously lose his temper when his phone started ringing. (Reno had to point this out to him hovever, because he had changed the tone to a stupid samba-cha-cha thing.) Rude picked up the phone and was about to shout when he heard Tseng's voice.

"Yes Sir, right away," he said then hung up.

"Well," said Reno, hands in pockets, looking up to Rude.

"We have to meet Tseng and Elena in Costa del Sol, leading up to a mission," he explained.

"More holidays," said Reno smiling.

"Every work day is a holiday for you," Rude said half laughing.

"No,"said Reno, Rude knew he was about to attempt to say something clever, "every day is like a holiday but location change makes it official," he said smugly.

"Yeah," said Rude.

"How we gonna get there anyhow?" asked Reno.

"Plane."

"What?" he then looked at Rude who wasn't joking,"and to get to the airport?"

"I'll leave that up to you," said Rude heading back into the caravan.

"What the hell am I supposed to do about it?" Reno thought to himself for a couple minutes, then remembered that he had within his reach (in fact it was in his pocket) the previous contents of Tseng's wallet. He took out his phone to arrange transport for Rude and himself, as money was no problem.

About half an hour later Reno stepped out of the door, followed by the extremely shocked and annoyed Rude.

"They were out of black and white ones," said Reno paying the driver as he helped load the bags in the trunk.

"We can't afford this," said Rude as he got into the limo.

"No, but Tseng can," said Reno opening the bottle of champagne next to him, necking it then offering it to Rude.

"Backwash isn't really my taste thanks," he said putting his feet up.

"Oh, ok then, more for me, i'm thirsty and the drivers got loads more of this stuff," said Reno opening up the shelf in the mini-bar to reveal about 5 more bottles. "How long do you think it'll take to get there Rude?"

Rude sighed realising that it would be one of those journeys "2, 2 and a half hours."

"Groovy," said Reno finishing the first bottle, "hey Mr driver this stuff's free right?"

"The champagne is complimentary Sir,enjoy the journey" said the driver before closing the screen between himself and the two passengers.

Rude looked at Reno amazed from how fast he was drinking given the fact that they were only about 2 hours from an aeroplane journey. He knew there was no point trying to stop him so he lay back and eventually slept to help the time pass.

The car stopped and Reno had the novelty of waking Rude by smacking him with a pillow and shouting 'oi slaphead.'

"Hello my bald amigo," said Reno smiling and patting Rude's head.

"You're white," said Rude trying to hide his smile.

"Are you a racist Rude?" replied Reno.

"No," he smiled a little "I don't have anything against caucasians, I mean't white white Reno you're the whitest person I've ever seen."

"Hey," Reno pulled a face like a little kid "I ain't that white Rude!"

"Whiter than me," he said.

"That dude with the arm gun's whiter than you!," he said as Rude scowled,"am I really that white?"

"Shinra could probably hire you out for haunting people, I'll speak to Tseng," Rude could see the worry in his friend's eyes but didn't for a minute think it serious.

"Come on, that ain't fair!" shouted Reno.

"Neither's my ass," said Rude as he got out of the car to a rather annoyed looking driver and leaving a rather annoyed sounding Reno.

The driver got their bags and Reno arranged the payment. By the time Reno had finished and got all of his stuff Rude was half way to the departure hall now being chased by Reno. He eventually caught up with Rude who had deliberately slowed down because of the fear of his friend getting lost. The two walked side by side as Reno complained about everything there was to complain about and blamed Rude who consequently ignored him. They only needed to walk a few seconds and Rude was quite confident that getting on the plane would be no problem, for him at least.

"This could be fun," said Reno eyeing a revolving door. They stood for a few minutes watching as mothers with prams and others with a lot of bags struggled into the hall through the door. It slowed down and stopped to suit the pedestrians and at a certain point the door could be used to close up the cylinder and keep people inside. "Come on," said Reno smiling at Rude.

The guys stepped into the cylinder and walked around with it waiting for a victim. A man with a phone in one hand and briefcase in the other stepped into the trap. Reno and Rude continued to walk until the doors completely filled each opening.They both stood against the glass to stop the door and the man was trapped watching him helpless, the two Turks laughed and waved at him through the glass of the half divided cylinder.

"How long shall we make him wait in there?" asked Reno still smiling at the man "he sure does look pissed."

"About another 30 seconds, we gotta go," said Rude sounding amused. When they finally let the doors start moving again the man looked extremely angry and Reno ran into the hall and through to the departure lounge, Rude walked of course. Due to Rude's excellent organisational skills, they didn't have to wait long before they were on the plane.

"Put mine in, if you're up now Rude," Reno said passing him his bag to save himself from doing any unnessecary lifting. He let his chair fall right back hitting the woman behind him. The woman shouted at Reno in a very highpitched, feminin voice. "Sorry Rude, what did you say?" laughed Reno ignoring the woman. Rude turned and faced away from his friend, he was not impressed.

"Seriously Rude I was joking, I need to ask you a serious and rather personal question." Rude turned around and the redhead continued. "What's it like being a bald, 30year old virgin?"

Rude said nothing and reached for a half full bottle of water he'd put in the pocket in front of him and emptied it onto Reno.

"Hey, um this is kinda awkward but my friend here's had a little accident, we may need some assistance," he said to the nearest stewardess.

"Of course, just a minute," she said giving Reno a weird look before heading to the cabin. Reno sat like a little kid, arms folded, glaring at Rude.

"Sorry, " Rude said, Reno raised his head. "Oh and Reno..."

"What," he asked turning toward the window.

"Don't fall asleep, will ya?" he said.

Hearing this Reno started to worry because he was of course going to fall asleep. Worrying about the rest of the journey was okay though, he'd soon be reminded of something to do with £60,000.


End file.
